This has not been an easy Spring for me as several close friends have joined the Church Triumphant.  As I put together my annual reflection on The Saints last year it seemed that the list was shorter than usual.  This year’s list has already exceeded last year’s and many of these saints are, as I said, close friends.  The reality of death was part of my reflection when I preached the Easter Sunrise Service at my church.  (Yes, I refused to start with the resurrection because you need to know the bad news before you can understand the Good News.  If you are really interested the church might post the audio of the sermon shortly.)

Many of you are aware that the founder and original Internet Monk, Michael Spencer, joined the Church Triumphant on April 5.  This week his wife, Denise Day Spencer, posted a wonderful yet difficult reflection on Michael’s journey and final days.  It is a very tough read but very worthwhile — I highly recommend it.  Thank you Denise for sharing that.

You have to read the whole thing but I want to quote one of the final paragraphs:

In those first days and weeks after Michael left me, all I seemed to be able to recall of him was his grueling illness and his grim death.Little by little, memories of his life are returning. I want to remember him vibrantly alive, teaching and preaching and writing and podcasting.Talking and laughing and eating and studying. But whenever my thoughts turn to the starkness of his passing, I will remember: We may be born to die, but we were created to live.

Too often I also remember friends and family as I last knew them and not as the vibrant individuals they were earlier.  And I have found this particularly a problem for those that have been ravaged by Alzheimer’s disease.  Many have done amazing things and lived very full lives.  As the Archbishop responds to his assistant’s concern in Death Comes For The Archbishop by Willa Cather – “I will not die of a cold, I will die of having lived.” 

So for those in my life who’s final days were not vibrant and lively but ugly and difficult, I pray that I too may remember you at your best.